Wearing and using Diapers, is for me not a kink, nor is it a way for me to get off, or to constantly stay aroused! Admittedly, I do sometimes get a twitch in my stomach thinking that this exact feeling of being wrapped securely in a diaper, that feeling will follow me for the rest of my life. But that’s about it. I know it’s permanently; because I have been back in them since May 2013, 24/7/365. So it’s not just a temporary binge or purge. I do have kink’s but diapers are not that. Wearing and using diapers gives me relief and provide both security and comfort to me.
Wearing and using diapers; is for me more an emotional thing i.e. I’m emotionally dependent and I think also psychical dependent after so many years! In fact the mental dependence came quickly, and soon I couldn’t imagine not being in a diaper. Wearing and being able to wet no matter where I am, no matter what situation I’m in, makes me feel secure, safe and protected.
First time I recall strapping a diaper on me again, after I was fully pottytrained was when I was between four and fives year old. My dad caught me, and honestly, I cannot remember what happened. Knowing my dad and he’s temper, I tend to believe it wasn’t nice.
Anyway, the feeling or desire to wear and use diapers never disappeared, and for many years I used paper towel in my undies, if I couldn’t get my hands on my mum’s pads for when she had her period. I just craved the “being diapered feeling”.
It took many years before I recognized what it was exactly, I was yearning for. It wasn’t the diaper itself, though looks and feel does play a part, being strapped in a diaper and when it get’s wet feels like nothing else, warm, soft and wet. However only at home do I wear thick boosted diapers. Simply because I know I will be secure for many hours if not the whole day. At work and generally out in public, I go with more discrete options, yet options which are still able to keep my clothes dry for 7-8 hours.
So what is it, if it isn’t the diaper that intrigues me? Well yes, the diaper does intrigue me, but in a different way that I tend to believe most DL’s react. When I took the decision back in the spring of 2013, that I would start to wear diapers permanently. It was easy, I just started to wear a diaper. Quickly did I realize that just wearing a diaper gave me nothing of what I sought. I wanted to be dependent of being diapered around the clock.
I started searching the internet to look after likeminded people, first I found a couple of sides, one local, but that was too focused on being an Adult Baby, something I couldn’t, and still can’t identify myself with to this day.
Then I found a different site catering for all types and variants of a diapered life, ranging from medically incontinent, to wanting to become incontinent to DL’s and AB’s and those in between. I could identify myself with those people who was searching for ways to render them incontinent, I had the same cravings and still do to this day.
I tried all remedies, catheters, stents to hypnosis, everything to quickly lose my continence, but all I ever got, was a UTI. For a long time I sort of settled in, trying to be patient and hoping that someday, I would realize, that I didn’t have control anymore, that day is still far out I believe. But yet closer than just a few years ago, I believe (hope).
…………to be continued (What I tried, what I did and what I have planned to do.
Back In Diapers 24/7 